Loosen Your Grip on Outcomes

Anthony Bourdain, the celebrated chef and world traveler, seemed to have it all. Worldwide fame, a dream job traveling the globe sampling extraordinary cuisines, and millions of adoring fans. I was one of them. I loved his show "Parts Unknown." It won multiple Emmy Awards, and his books topped bestseller lists. But beneath this apparent success, Bourdain struggled with depression and attachment that ultimately contributed to his tragic suicide in 2018.

In interviews before his death, Bourdain often hinted at how his happiness had become dangerously tethered to specific conditions. He frequently spoke about restlessness. The persistent search for something new. A search that suggested that returning to normal life after his adventures brought little satisfaction. Despite access to experiences most dream of, he had attached his sense of fulfillment to external circumstances that could never provide lasting contentment.

The alternative to such attachment is not detachment. It is not apathy. Rather, it's what the Yogis call "non-attachment." The ability to engage fully with life without making your happiness contingent upon specific outcomes or possessions. And that goes for attachment to things as well as attachment to people.