What Breaks You Also Makes You

"You're 37, but you have the knee of a 67-year-old."

The doctor delivered this verdict with clinical detachment as he entered the room. I just smiled. What good would sadness do?

Twelve years of chronic pain have been my teacher. Each week it gets stronger. Two failed ACL reconstructions. Shredded meniscus. Bone grinding against bone with each step. Osteoarthritis. A total knee replacement incoming. The hiking, biking, soccer, dancing I love now come with a price I pay in silence.

I could easily blame myself. Why did I choose cleats on synthetic turf that grabbed my feet? Why did I dribble past defenders instead of passing? Why did I rush to choose a surgeon without proper research?