Because Kindness Feels Good

"Wherever there is a human being, there is an opportunity for kindness," the famous Stoic philosopher Seneca reminds us.

During my 10 years working in the restaurant industry, I learned that being kind to others is the most important principle to follow when serving people. While most customers were kind or at least not unkind, there were still those who were rude and angry, treating me condescendingly.

The initial impulse arising on my mind was to respond in the same way. It really sucks when people treat you like that for no reason. But the best response was to treat them with unwavering kindness.

This approach always worked. Gradually, as if a veil of misery surrounding them had lifted, these rude customers became kinder towards me, or at the very least, indifferent. When people know they are being grumpy and are met with kindness instead of negativity, they may even feel a sense of shame and start pulling back.

But the goal isn’t shaming those who are rude. The goal is just to not be like that. To not let yourself be dragged down by their negative attitude. Because you know better. Because kindness feels good. And being miserable, well, feels miserable.

And it won’t be easy. In fact, it will be really hard. You’ll be tested every day. That’s why it is important to keep this top of mind. Because it’s inevitable to encounter all types of people in your daily life. People who will be kind, people who will be indifferent, and people who will deliberately test your patience.

“But if I am kind, I’ll be seen as weak.” No, you won’t. You can be strong, driven, assertive, and still do it with kindness. You can be kind without being a pushover. You can be kind without allowing people to treat you poorly. You can be kind and still set clear boundaries.

Remember everyone is doing the best they know how. Everyone is advancing through life at their own pace. Respond to their negativity with grace and empathy.

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